'cause I've been giving for a while now. That's not to say I feel cheated, or that I'll stop giving. But I have been missing the point. You might realize that all the  good you do, you do for two reasons: to actually do something good  and to make yourself feel better. It's the stroke you get from being helpful, from the thought that you've made someone's life better, from feeling like you made a difference. So, you could say that selflessness is selfish at its core. For me it was all the more selfish, since I did not like others helping me, or giving me something in return for a good deed of mine. If you just thought 'money,' you have issues. This has nothing to do with money. It's about giving and letting others to give back. When you don't let others return your favor, they will -- at some level -- feel like they owe you. Not to mention that you've given yourself a stroke, but denied them their own. Obviously, not every favor can be returned, and some good deeds are done just for the sake of doing them. I'm talking about the cases when there are no hidden agendas, when two people share actual feelings in doing something that is not retched. Now it's all that better for me. I still get to be useful, and help people out however I can. Just that now, not denying their giving back, I get to see even more joy in their eyes.